I have discovered something vaguely disturbing. It seems that tracksuit pants are now considered sexy. Over the past month or so, each time I have ventured out of the house with my trackies on, and wandered the back streets, I have been whistled at. Usually from a van. Do you think it could be the same van? This may be another, slightly more disturbing, discovery. I don’t think my suburb is one that could be considered van heavy – SUV heavy perhaps (but there is a serious amount of off-road driving necessary to pick up kids from school these days and let’s not even go into the state of the roads between skim caps) but I can’t say I’ve noticed vans taking over. Given that I don’t think I’m being stalked by a man in a van that leaves the tracksuit pants. They’re damned sexy I tell you. Or maybe it’s actually me. Maybe it’s not the tracksuit pants per se, it is me in the tracksuit pants. Just hang on here for a tic will you? ……………
Ok, I’m back. It’s not me. The bedroom mirror has duly been consulted and has rejected that idea out of hand. Even when I was squinting.
Perhaps it’s just that people look approachable in trackies. You know, more attainable than when they’re out looking smokin’. Am now getting depressed again. What does all of this say for the men around here? I’ll whistle at that sheila in trackies because I can’t possibly get that hottie in the tight jeans who walked by earlier and you never know but the trackie sheila will probably be so grateful for the attention that the trackies may just fall off!
I’m starting to get a headache. And you know what’s even sadder? I did get a little thrill from the whistle. I know, I know, it’s awful! But when you climb over to the “other” side of 40 you don’t really expect that kind of attention and I confess it made me toss my hair. More on the inside though, I promise. I think I have to stop before you lose all respect for me.
I’m grateful that I didn’t stoop so low as to smile at the whistler – eyes averted, shoulders square, I feigned obliviousness (is that even a word?) as I continued my walk without breaking stride ……. I may have surreptitiously clenched my buttocks though …..